A Castle All Her Own

“It is the most unheard of thing I have ever heard!” exclaimed the King, his usually calm face distorted with a mighty scowl to rival that of any ogre’s.

The Queen sighed in dismay.  “Young lady, why can you not be more like your sister, Princess Magnifique?”

“Forsooth,” the Princess quickly replied.  “If I were more like Magnifique I would be less like myself.”  The Queen sighed again in exasperation.

“She speaks true,” the High Priestess said to the High Magician whilst hiding her smile behind her hand.

“One cannot argue with logic,” the High Magician replied, also hiding his smile lest he make the King even angrier.  “The Princess indeed lives up to her namesake, Warrior Queen Rebelia.”

The Queen sighed again, this time more audibly. The King bellowed at his advisors.  “Is this predicament not troublesome enough without superfluous chattering amongst yourselves?” His voice echoed so loudly that those strolling in the garden outside the audience chamber could hear every word.  Knowing when to retreat, the High Priestess and Magician slowly backed out of the room.

“A princess does not live in her own castle by herself!  Who would defend you?” asked the King in an attempt to reason with his recalcitrant daughter.

“I have excelled in swordsmanship; I can take care of myself,” the Princess calmly answered.  “And I would not be alone. There would be folk aplenty assisting me in running the castle.

Having had his fill of contrariness and contretemps, the King stormed out of the chamber, quickly followed by the Queen.  Perhaps naming their youngest daughter after such an intractable ancestor had been a mistake.  Although, however unconventional, Queen Rebelia had been a formidable ruler, ridding the land of brigands and uniting the kingdoms against the ogres and trolls.

Like most folk in the realms, Princess Rebelia had studied the arts of the sword and self-defence; an ogre or troll attack was always imminent.  But unlike most, she had gone on to engage in advanced sword training and battle strategy with her older twin brothers, Prince Strong and Prince Able.  Like her sister Magnifique, Rebelia could sew a fine seam, weave a tapestry, cook a delicious roast duck and was an accomplished herbalist.  But there, the similarities between the sisters ended. Whereas Princess Magnifique married the handsome Prince Forthright and was predictably living happily ever after, Princess Rebelia had ignored her various suitors; declared they were all boring.  As everyone knows, there is nothing worse than a royal bore.  So despite being of marriageable age for three years, she remained gleefully unattached, much to her parents’ consternation.  Instead, she traversed the countryside wearing combat boots riding alongside her brothers, engaging in swordplay, and striking fear in the hearts of any ogre or troll who had the misfortune to stray too close. Her reputation in battle became known far and wide.

Feeling rather unhappy about the argument, Rebelia left the audience chamber after her parents’ departure and ambled about the maze garden.  There she came upon the Royal Estate Agent, who having overheard the dispute, produced a scroll containing a list of the available castles in the area.

So for the next few days the Princess and the Estate Agent visited properties.  Rebelia found none to her liking until they stumbled upon a small castle, not too close and not too far from her parents.  It was a bit rundown and in need of renovation.  However, there was a nice garden with room for expansion and it overlooked the sea.  And as everyone knows, location, location, location is key when choosing an estate.  So the Princess hired the Royal Decorators and together they transformed the little castle into a beautiful abode.

Word spread quickly throughout the realms that Princess Rebelia was not only fearless in battle, she maintained her own stronghold and excelled in the home-keeping arts, as well.  Once again a queue of suitors appeared.  Needless to say she rejected all of them and continued to live happily on her own, much to her parents’ vexation.  “I shall not settle! I will not marry until I find my equal.” she informed her worried parents.  The queue of eligible men continued for a few more years until Rebelia found one that was worthy of her.  But that is a story for another day.