Spell-Check is Your Friend

Porcellian Terrain

I inherited this item and could not decide if it was awfully beautiful or just plain awful.  I  had no idea of its history or worth.  After about an hour searching I found a listing for one just like it.  The advertisement was entitled: ‘Porcellian Terrain’ and went on to describe the attributes of such a marvelous ‘terrain’.  This prompted me to write the following:

Beware The Porcellian Terrain

The Sergeant closed his spyglass and rode swiftly to the front of the column to inform the Captain.

“Captain, methinks I spy porcellian terrain ahead!”

“Damn! We be a day behind as it is.  The men best don their heaviest boots.”

The men slogged through the muck and mire for most of the day.  They were nearing exhaustion when suddenly a terrible outcry was heard from the back of the ranks.

“Dragon! There be a dragon!”

The men ran as fast as they were able but were no match for the dragon.

As the dragon descended he hissed, “Ye puny humansssssss……  Ye dare to trespassssssss through my tureen?  Ye morselssss shall make a tasssssty meal!”

Moral:  Do not go marching in the dragon’s tureen or you might become part of the soup.


  1. HA ha ha – I love it.
    That tambourine is beautiful. I know SOD ALL about antiques and I’m guessing it’s not about the money for you but now I’ve got the disclaimers out of the way (yum yum yum loverly money – a hya hya hya hya hya), it looks like it could be worth some money. Seems unlikely a thing like that could remain intact for long with the intricate roses on the top. I think it’s lovely. I’d hold onto it. Maybe even get it valued.
    If you look at it long enough it starts to look like a jug-eared anaemic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with a bows tied to his nose, ears and head. Probably worth mentioning to the guy at the antiques place. Just in case it’s relevant.
    Oh and erm, forgive me but I’m obliged to say this: if it is worth a lot of money, BY LAW, I’m entitled to 50% because of this helpful comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a matter of fact, some turtles contacted me and were very interested. Should I decide to part with it, I will forward your 25% commission in the form of gnomish francs. 🙂


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