gnomes, humour, short story

The Gnome and I – Adventures in First Time Home Ownership – Chapter 15

The Gnome and I – Adventures in First Time Home Ownership – Episode 15-
Bathroom Reno Part Deux

To read from the beginning click here: The Gnome and I

As you may have read in Episode 2 the bathroom was a disaster from day one.  I had wanted to remove the ugly vinyl on the floor and replace it with tile.  But, as is the case with inexperienced first-time home-owners, I had already overspent my renovations budget the first year.  So the floor had to wait until the following year.

One day I heard Henri muttering in the hallway as he peered into the bathroom.

“Je ne peux plus le supporter!”  (I can bear it no longer!)  I found him at his most Shakespearean, one arm up against his forehead, a pained expression on his face.  (Henri can be quite the drama llama at times!)

“Whatever is the matter?” I enquired.

“Une grande insulte à mes sensibilités!”  (A grand insult to my sensibilities!) he answered mournfully.  “Le plancher; il doit être changé!”  (The floor; it must be changed!)bathroom floor Henri“I agree completely.  Let’s get to work!”  And, of course, by ‘work’ I meant I would be doing it whilst he would be overseeing and making comments.

The first thing I did was to paint the lower half of the walls, which were covered with this ridiculous masonite made-to-resemble-tiles board.  Apparently a leftover from the 1950s.  I had wanted to replace it with proper wainscotting but the budget would not allow it.  Painting it was a good option and white made the bathroom look brighter and larger.  It needed two coats of paint. I used latex semi-gloss.
bathroomwalls

Henri referred me to an article in his Better Gnomes & Gardens magazine showing an inexpensive way to change a bathroom floor was to paint it.  My budget had not recovered from all the previous expenditures as of yet to afford tile, so I thought this would be the perfect way to go.
HenriBG&G

The hideous vinyl was already torn and peeling off the floor.  There appeared to be plywood underneath which would be easy to paint.  What could go wrong?  (Note to Self:  Stop asking this question!)
bathroomfloorbefore
So I began by peeling the vinyl off the sub-floor.  And was horrified to find seven different types of flooring pieced together!  Who does that?!

bathroom floors
I also found some mould on the underside of the vinyl in some places.  How moronic to lay down vinyl or anything on top of patched sub-floor.  A disaster waiting to happen!

bathroomfloor5

As I only have one bathroom I had to paint and repaint one  section at a time.  I painted four coats using satin finish floor and porch paint to cover all the various pieces of sub-floor.  So it took about a week with drying time.  A painted floor should be sealed.  I’m allergic to polyurethane and I haven’t found a natural sealant yet.  (I really should have had a piece of plywood cut to fit over the sub-floor but as I still plan to have a tile floor I thought painting would be quick fix.)
bathroomfloor3

                                                                              Before

                                                                              After:

finished bathroom

Finally; a proper bathroom any mermaid would like!  I’m happy with the way it turned out.  And Henri’s sensibilities are no longer insulted! 🙂

16 thoughts on “The Gnome and I – Adventures in First Time Home Ownership – Chapter 15”

  1. Looking good 🙂 And it’s good that Henri is happy, the last thing you want in you home is an upset gnome. Ooh, that rhymes…
    “The last thing you want in your home –
    A disgruntled and out of sorts gnome…”
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done on your creative problem solving on a low budget. It looks much better. And it’s good to put your own stamp on a new place like that.
    The cheeky little boss monkey has his moments.
    When Henri uses the toilet, does he stand on a box? Or is there a miniature toilet just for him somewhere. Inquiring minds want to know!
    I think it’s time Gnomes and Gardens did a feature about Henri’s crib. He would take all the credit for your ideas if they did!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Doubtpuppet! Henri has appointed himself Royal Contractor.
      Henri has his own outhouse in the back garden. The Mermaid Queen does not share her throne 🙂
      As it happens, Henri has written to the editor and is awaiting a reply.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad to hear you don’t have to share the toilet with him. You’d never hear the end of it. Plus I’ve a feeling hed generate a powerful odour despite his size. Oh goodo – I hope he gets featured!

        Liked by 1 person

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