A morning without coffee……………….
……….is not a good morning at all! Yesterday my coffee grinder gave up the ghost.
The kitchen went dark; thunder clouds and lightning surrounded me. (I will refrain from mentioning any of the pirate swear words I uttered in frustration as this is a family blog.) I had visions of myself stumbling about like a zombie as I languished in despair waiting for the replacement to arrive.
This coffee grinder had outlasted one marriage, three boyfriends, five house moves, several jobs and hair dryers. Would I ever find another one as good? We live in a society of planned obsolescence. Nothing is made to last these days!
I could hear an anguished cry of “noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” reverberating in the kitchen. Oh, wait. That was me.
Henri scurried in to find me staring at the defunct coffee grinder in wild-eyed panic.
“Madame, que s’est-il passé?” he asked; his voice full of alarm.
He looked from my angst-ridden face to the counter. He nodded solemnly, thinking of his own reaction if his beloved espresso machine had stopped working.
Suddenly an idea materialised through the mist of my torpor. 
I put some coffee beans into a (recyclable!) plastic bag and pounded them into small pieces, using the coffee grinder as a hammer. Success! Luckily, coarse grind is perfect for a French press (cafetiere).
Much rejoicing ensued as Henri and I did a victory dance. Breakfast was saved!
Properly fortified I went online in search of a new coffee grinder. And I was able to find the exact same model made by the same company at a reduced price. Let us all hope it works as well and lasts as long as the original (or there will undoubtedly be swearing).
More stories featuring Henri are here: The Gnome and I
©Morgaine du Mer, MagickMermaid 2018
MagickMermaid 
I think I will try that method with the plastic bag! Good luck with that new grinder!
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Thank you so much, Lee! Necessity is the mother of invention 🙂
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now i buy two of everything. fortunately i live in utah.
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Ha-ha-ha! Good answer, Joe 🙂
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Phew! I’ expect the “pirate swear words” went something like “Ooh arr, me hearties, ’tis broken, pieces of eight, man the lanyards, ooh arr.”
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Ali, I’m afraid they were much stronger than that! 🙂
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Ahhh, the old coffee grinder did arise after death, and pounded your beans to a pulp, a true resurrection of loyalty and love.
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Ivor, I like your take on this. Despite the pirate words the little gadget did well! 🙂
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I was looking at the positive side of your pirate words. 😊 down here we would call Tradie words.
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Thank you for this hillarious post.
I’m glad that you found a coffee grider of the same brand and hope it serves you at least as well as your old one. Very creative to use tha latter as a coffe bean smasher after it gave up the ghost!
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Thank you so much, Stephanie! Needs must! 🙂
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Thankfully it was just the coffee grinder. few months ago my fridge, AC and Inverter gave up their ghosts. Imagine dealing with a host of ghosts at one go.
Loved the tone and idea of this.
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Oh, dear! That’s terrible; all important appliances failing at the same time! I bet you invented some brand new pirate words! 🙂
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…and peace was restored to the Universe 🙂
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Exactly what I said, Susan, after I made the coffee! Although I think the earth tilted a bit on its axis 🙂
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Lol! I was going to suggest that you send Henri to the store to get you a new grinder, but I see you worked things out, good! BTW here in Quebec we say “Que-ce qui ç’est passé” which is a slightly different grammatical take on it. But it all has the same effect as: “QUOI?!?!!” Lol!
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I should mention for non-French-speaking folks that “Quoi?!” loosely translates as “WTF??!” 😀
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I’m afraid I have to use Google translate to understand Henri 😉
Everything sounds better in French! Even WTF! 😀
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Indeed! Quelle horreur!! 😀
P.S. – I *love* Google Translate!!
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Hurray. I’m glad you were able to replace it. It looks like mine. Which I think I used once. Didn’t have cause to here. Maybe Ill use it again in due course though. It’s made by Krups. I’m amazed i lasted that long actually. I like the idea of doubling it up as a mallet. That’s good old fashioned ingenuity that is.Great to hear what you and Henri are up to again.
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Thank you so much, Mr Jellico! Mine was Krups. And so is the one I just ordered. Which according to the notification I just received should arrive on Wed. So only two more days of hammered coffee beans. 🙂
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Ha – I knew I recognised it! Mine’s black though. Cripes!
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The new one is black also. 🙂
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OMG! I have that exact grinder. And, I know a lot of pirates swear words. I’m ready for any failures because now I know I can still make coffee using the grinder caveman style while cursing like a pirate.
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Those pirate swear words come in handy for all sorts of situations. I’m sure science will show that is exactly how cave people prepared their coffee 🙂
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Good save! I’m impressed by how you solved that one.
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Thank you so much, Lucy! One must be resourceful when coffee is at stake. 🙂
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I totally feel you on this! A few years ago I accidentally bought a bag of decaf beans (the word was hidden on the bag!) and spent the week feeling sick and depressed. When I finally realized it was because I was merely caffeine deprived, I laughed and laughed. After getting a proper espresso drink that is.
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Decaf is one of those pirate swear words 🙂
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Pure evil
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1) I will pay you for lessons in Pirate Swearing.
2) Very much enjoying the image in my head of you smashing the crap out of those coffee beans with the broken grinder.
3) Hahahahaha, love it!
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ha-ha! I thought about having a Pirate Swearing Seminar 🙂
Henri enjoyed my usually demure self (ha!) swearing and smashing! 🙂
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